Why am I even keeping this blog? I don't think that anybody reads it... At least the stats tracker that I have set up seems to indicate that. Should I break out from this hideous malaise, this pathetic existence that I'm eking out, would I really want to turn back the page and read about it?
I had promised myself upon commencement of this very diary that I wouldn't succumb to a leaning towards teen-angsty outpourings. Guess I failed, looks like I'm doomed to have the epitaph - "life sux man" engraved upon my tomb. I feel a gnawing, gnashing unhappiness that is pervading every action and reaction in my day to day dealings. I am also too lazy, scared and scarred to bother changing my situation.
I'm finding all sorts of hidden meanings in Elliott Smith songs; that can't be a good sign, look where he ended up... I'm not suicidal - too lazy to bother with that shit - also, I think that it is my duty to push forward and die of natural causes. I don't need to worry about laziness there either, that is one thing that is bound to take care of itself sooner or later...
I found a leaf by her bed today and on it (in black biro) was written L.M 4 T.E. It is amazing how 5 characters can ruin a person’s day.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
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