Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Politics, Pundit style

If you get the chance to click the link you should read this fantastic bit of political illumination by the Rude Pundit. His post concerns the by now much covered case of the outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame. I was particularly tickled by his likening of the Bush regime to a speeding driver:

"Let's say you're drivin' along the highways and byways of America, big fuckin' America, with its wide fuckin' roads, and everyone on the interstate is goin' ten, twenty miles an hour over the speed limit. So, shit, why not, you do it, too. Then you see the highway patrol car two seconds too late, and you are nailed, say, doin' 85 in a 65. Speedin' ain't the worse thing you can do when you're drivin'. Drunk drivin', runnin' a stop sign, there's lots of shit that's worse. But the trooper pulled your ass over for speedin'."

You see team Bush is now going to attempt to sell the story that 'everybody does the political dodgy dance, ergo why shouldn't we?' Uh, well, just like when you get caught driving at 100kph in an 80 zone only to discover that you're still guilty even if all the other drivers around you are speeding as well, you will probably find that you’re still guilty of criminal politics even if you think it’s all been done before.

But the Pundit's fantastic metaphors don't stop there. What happens if the heat, upon booking you, wants to check the boot of your car?

"Now, let's say you've got a dead hobo stuffed with baggies of heroin stashed in your trunk. And the cop wants you to step out so he can search the vehicle. First of all, you have learned a valuable lesson: if you've got a hobo corpse stashed in the trunk, do not speed. But now you've only got a couple of choices left to you: you can try to whack the cop or you can run. But either way, at this point, you are fucked. Once the trunk is popped and the stench of rotting hobo hits the cop before the visual, you are finished. And, really, there's no one to blame but your hobo-killin'-drug-transportin' ass that just had to fuckin' speed once too often."

Who knows, maybe whilst checking that boot, our friendly constable will find, oh, I don't know, a body bloated with the stench of lies, deceit and treachery perpetrated in order to construct an unneeded, destructive war based on greed and bigotry?

But even if you don’t like all the noisy politics; even if you think old Don should quit yammering on about these events which he knows nothing about; hell, even if you’re a conservative and think that George Bush is the savior of all creation you should still go over and check out the Rude Pundit. He is one of the most entertaining reads out in Blogdom.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This made me chuckle for a good ten minutes afterwards.

circe said...

Me too!

Don Quixote said...

It was an absolute pisser!