That leaf

Why am I even keeping this blog? I don't think that anybody reads it... At least the stats tracker that I have set up seems to indicate that. Should I break out from this hideous malaise, this pathetic existence that I'm eking out, would I really want to turn back the page and read about it?
I had promised myself upon commencement of this very diary that I wouldn't succumb to a leaning towards teen-angsty outpourings. Guess I failed, looks like I'm doomed to have the epitaph - "life sux man" engraved upon my tomb. I feel a gnawing, gnashing unhappiness that is pervading every action and reaction in my day to day dealings. I am also too lazy, scared and scarred to bother changing my situation.
I'm finding all sorts of hidden meanings in Elliott Smith songs; that can't be a good sign, look where he ended up... I'm not suicidal - too lazy to bother with that shit - also, I think that it is my duty to push forward and die of natural causes. I don't need to worry about laziness there either, that is one thing that is bound to take care of itself sooner or later...
I found a leaf by her bed today and on it (in black biro) was written L.M 4 T.E. It is amazing how 5 characters can ruin a person’s day.

Good news in the midst of a fever

The coming weekend has ushered in good news! My termination date at work has been announced. This may sound like bad news to some, however it means a significant payout and a chance to start my life over afresh. I have been working this mindnumbing job for 5 years now and finally change is afoot...
What shall I do? I'm due to receive around $20,000 redundancy compensation and I need to decide what direction to head from there. I'm leaning towards an overseas journey at the moment, and possibly putting some money towards a deposit on a small 1 bedroom appartment. That way I won't have that empty, fallen behind feeling that so many people experience when they return from abroad.
At least having all these choices truely cements the realization that I am actually going to "break on through" as Jim Morrison put it, to something new. The other side. How exciting!
In other, not so exciting news - I have a terrible head cold. Nose chaffing, lungs wheezing, body aching... Ahhhh, the dubious joys of mortality.