Silent Speaking

A Return to La Mancha

2010-04-19T21:36:00.003+10:00

Whether because of time constraints, laziness or disenchantment I fell away from blogging for a time. In my absence I spent a year in Scandinavia, I lived a nomadic Australian existence and I watched lovers come and go, but I always felt like I'd mount Rocinante, dig my heels into her withered flanks and ride once more.

And so it comes to this. My armour creaks and groans more than I had remembered. My sword - as rusty as I had remembered - is in hand. Poor squat Sancho has grudgingly agreed to be my squire. I, Don Quixote, will ride the golden plains of La Mancha once more.

Self Referencing Haiku

2006-07-25T14:33:00.000+10:00

Eat the word sandwich
The bread is five syllables
And the meat? Seven

Marx Weeps

2006-07-24T23:46:00.000+10:00

Traveling the halls of university today I happened upon a poster created by the Socialist Alliance, rallying support against the senseless slaughter occurring in Lebanon as a result of the Israeli military's actions.

The poster included the following statement: "US imperialism unleashes its attack dog in the middle east"

It must be a strange world that socialists live in, where lifeless nouns can unleash forces, canine or otherwise. I agree wholeheartedly with their sentiment; however their messaging needs some refining.

'Ticks and Leeches'

2006-07-23T15:41:00.000+10:00

I hate scalpers; they have music fans targeted for an ass fucking. They buy up all the tickets available for concerts - sometimes in quantities of up to 20 at a time - in a deliberate attempt to ensure the venue sells out, and then they sell those tickets on eBay for exorbitant prices. I've never purchased anything from eBay before, and that's for a good reason. I'm stubborn. I don't like being outbid.

I just paid $140.00 to see The Strokes.

Ps - I'm off to see TV on the radio tonight. It should be a good show, if their new album is anything by which to judge.

I wonder if anyone outside of Australia would understand the coolness that is Ratcat?

2006-07-19T21:12:00.000+10:00

Possibly not.

But every occupant of this troubled globe should know and love Big Audio Dynamite.

Must remember to get Yeah yeah yeahs tickets tomorrow!

2006-07-15T02:54:00.000+10:00

And also, tomorrow I'll tell you about yet another failed romantic (mis)adventure that I had on Thursday night.

Sleep, where for art thou?

2006-07-13T04:05:00.000+10:00

Look at the gawd damned time! Sleeping pills work on me like US styled democracy works in the Middle East. I'm thinking about crushing them up and mixing them in with my Milo.

Help?

"The problem with the left"

2006-07-12T17:55:00.000+10:00

Some Poondoodle over at group blog Larvatus Prodeo, a supposed Lefty, has written one of the stupidest posts I've ever read, about the apparent problems besieging the left:

"Don't bath for a few months and go on a demo about nucular (sic) power with paint dawbed (sic) signs and dogs on strings with the same old bollocky "2 4 6 8″ chants whilst bonging up a dooby and saving some whales."

When I read that paragraph for some strange reason images of corn fields filled with straw men came into my mind. I always love attempts to tar whole groups of people with simplistic stereotypes; but the least our straw man building quasi-leftist could do is get his terminology correct - how does one bong "up a dooby"? And, perhaps he’d be more engaged in nuclear issues if he discovered how to spell the word correctly…

Moving on to the next bit of dribble:

"I am as economically lefty as they come, and pretty bloody libertarian to boot. I care about people. I don't give a shit about:

Animals
Nuclear power if it's economically feasible
Global warming if there is no catastrophe"

See, the problem with the left is that the blogger in question doesn't share all the same beliefs and principles as those which some on the left espouse. An expectation of that ilk sounds more like right wing groupthink to me. That could be a problem for the left; or, it could be that our blogger has no fucking clue, which would be a major problem for him.

Okay, this is the last bit of dribble, I promise:

"I do care about:

Equity of rights and opportunities regardless of socioeconomic status, race, gender, any other label you can emboss on a strip of plastic that is bound to slice under your thumbnail when you peel the backing off. You know the drill, the higher taxes, more services kind of thing that we all know and love."

Well, whoopdeefuckingdoo – in a global warming scenario (and, by the way, isn’t the whole discussion about global warming centered on its catastrophic potential?) who will be the most likely to suffer? Could it be the small communities who rely on local ecosystems for their survival? Could it be the poor and the downwardly mobile? Sure you care about equality of rights and opportunities. Sure you care about people - just as long as they are washed and behave in a manner that conforms to your limited notion of respectability.

Me, I like to be clean. I like to smell nice. And, I don’t smoke as much dope as I used to. Taking a cursory examination of my leftist friends reveals that most of them are fairly similar to myself; but, that said, I don’t think for a second that cleanliness, attending a protest, or even smoking the occasional spliff invalidates a person’s belief structure – the only thing that should do that is the logic upon which their arguments are predicated.

And one last thing: how did women win universal suffrage? And that continuing fight for racial equality thing, how have inroads been made in that battle? Oh, and the workers, how did the workers manage to escape their Dickensian entrapments? Fuck me; it wasn’t through protests, was it?

"Once more into the breach dear friends"

2006-07-07T20:50:00.000+10:00

When Shakespeare wrote that he wasn't talking about heading into war. Nope, the great poet was talking about the prospect of putting in another weekend stint at Revolver.

America, Fuck Yeah!

2006-07-07T20:34:00.000+10:00

It's amazing watching Fox News's coverage of the 'London Bombings: A year on'. Americans interviewing other Americans about the terrible tragedy in London... I mean, they're doing a live shoot from England - the least they could do is rustle up a real live local. And the way that they are trying to insert the word terrorist into every little bit of dialogue, it's making me feel ill. The relationship between hard-line Islam and rightwing America can only be described as symbiotic. It is amazing to see two cultures so hatefully opposed to each other and yet so inextricably reliant upon one another.

If it's your first night on Noah's arc you have to fight

2006-07-07T03:02:00.000+10:00

I'm house-sitting at the moment and with the house come two golden retrievers and six cats (don't ask). The dogs were easy to make friends with but the cats have taken a little time. The most skittish of the tribe, an orange ruffian with the beginnings of cataracts in its eyes, is just starting to accept me. I've always had far more amicable relations with animals than I do with humans.

As for the house, that's another story. This house is like the one that Tyler and Cornelius (Rupert, Jack, etc.) occupy in Fight Club. It's like an old mans lungs - it fills with the moisture of the mountain air, and it rattles and wheezes with any change in temperature. In certain parts of the house I can see strips of daylight coming through the floorboards; those nice airy vents also let in the freezing cold air. The shower hadn't been used in some time; when I first turned its taps it vomited forth a Bombay-esque deluge.

All in all the house suits the mood I've been in for the last month or so.

It sucks to be disappointed

2006-07-04T02:04:00.000+10:00

It seems the great night that I had the other night with the new romantic interest was great only in the realm of my own imaginings. A phone call earlier on tonight shattered all such illusions.

I feel about as desirable as a bout of gastro right at this moment.

Music Tip

2006-07-01T16:51:00.000+10:00

I've been hearing this cracking good tune over the airwaves the last couple of weeks, and for some reason I've continually missed the name of both track and band when the DJ has announced it. Well, no more. I saw the video clip on rage last night and it's by a Canadian(?) band called Metric. The song is called 'Monster Hospital'. The lead singer recalls all the best elements of Chrissy Amphlett, but they rock out far more than the Divinyls ever did.

Check it out if you get the chance.

All About the Girrrrl

2006-06-30T23:56:00.000+10:00

Well, the good news is that I took our young blog-busting girl out last night and everything went well. Lips were locked; boots were knocked. The success of the venture is made all the more surprising because I'd always suspected that if someone were to read the disturbing thoughts rolling round inside this Quixotic cranium they'd run a mile.

But, I must include -

NOTE TO SELF: Your sense of humor has a current success rate of around 1 in 10* so the next time you're taking a girl out on the town you may want to hold back on the old comic relief until you're sure you're in with a chance.

* That figure may or may not be comprised of people that are faking laughter plus the criminally insane.

Can a slippery slope made up of the bodies of straw men actually be slippery?

2006-06-28T21:59:00.000+10:00

Is that the longest post title ever? Possibly.

And, all I'm going to do is link to another post.

There is a conservative columnist in Australia named Andrew Bolt. His arguments are ridiculous to the extent that reading them ends up being a side-splittingly comedic experience. In fact, if Bolt wasn’t writing for a decidedly Right-leaning newspaper, one could be excused for thinking him to be offering up some sort of deliberate political parody. In a recent column, he's made the 'slippery slope' argument, that allowing gays to marry will eventually lead budding polygamists to stake their claim.

Now, there is an antidote to Bolt's madness, and it's a blog called 'Boltwatch.' Boltwatch replied to Bolt's recent column with one of the funniest dissections of an argument that I've read in all Blogsylvania. What's funnier - the columnist in question reads Boltwatch and goes into paranoid paroxysms of fear when he realizes his disingenuous arguments have been revealed to the world in all their naked horror. He even attempts to respond to Boltwatch. Boltwatch's return of fire is something akin to the response I'd get if I tried to pass Roger Federer with one of my weak forehand shots on the tennis court.

The slap of palm on forehead

2006-06-28T02:18:00.000+10:00

I've thought about posting a couple of times. But every time I attempt to key some letters to form some words the correct sequencing eludes me. It is very difficult to write anything knowing that someone living outside of Blogsylvania* has penetrated its swirling mists and discovered this dusty little corner of net space. It's nobody's fault really (actually, it's my fault for leaving links between my real name and this site; I was a fucking rookie when I started blogging); I also suspect that others have been coming here... It's just a hunch. So, I'm going to extract a promise on Thursday night over drinks. I'm going to request that a certain someone not come back here. If that certain someone can entertain that request then I'll keep the faith and resume blogging as normal; if not, I'll have to shut down Quixote Enterprises and return in the form of another ancient literary character. I'm quite fond of blogging, so even if this space has to go there'll be another. I like the ritual of sending out this (sometimes) daily message in a bottle, and the wonderment that comes from seeing which foreign beach this jumble of awkward words has washed up upon. Time will tell, time will tell.

* I've come to detest the term R/L or whatever it is that people have come up with to describe themselves offline - you are all real people, aren't you? I'm not a lab rat caught in some bizarre experiment where the scientists watch me read blog posts written by super smart computer technology, am I?

Am I???

Possible posts for tomorrow:
- The place I'm currently living (you'll be horrified)
- Insomnia (once again, look at the time of this post)
- Sex (shattering some mysteries)

Sweet, Sweet Music

2006-06-24T02:48:00.000+10:00

The new Muse song is fucking hot. It's sleek, it's dark, and it's sexy. I love it when a band effortlessly changes tack, leaving me surprised and entranced.

And, I love that song by Tiga:

"As far as I go
As far as I know
I've always got
A place called home
I cross overseas
It's fine by me
'cause I'll never be
Far from home"

It just isn't happening

2006-06-22T02:55:00.000+10:00

I just watched Apocalypse Now (redux) and Deer Hunter back to back. This failure to sleep is starting to bug me.

Continuing on from yesterday

2006-06-21T23:57:00.000+10:00

Yeah, so I met this wonderful girl. She loves Russian history. I don't meet many girls with whom I can discuss Russian history. She is also damned attractive. But, as she told me three hours into our talk, she has a boyfriend. Now, she said "sort of boyfriend", but to me if you've been seeing someone for a year and a half then they're just a plain boyfriend.

She took down my number, and we've exchanged a text message or two. I won't, however, allow things to go any further than that. It's this damned conscience, see; it gets in the way all the time.

Maybe it isn't even a conscience. Maybe I've just been subjected to that hell in the past and, consequently, I have an acute awareness of what it feels like.

Up Late with Don Quixote

2006-06-21T04:18:00.000+10:00

I met the coolest girl at an underground warehouse party on Saturday night. We talked for about four hours. That time seemed to pass in the blink of an eye.

But there are complications, man, there are always complications.

And I have insomnia, as you can probably tell from the time of this post.

More details will come tomorrow.

Two words

2006-06-17T12:50:00.000+10:00

Fuck yeah!

Reason #459 Why Ann Coulter Wants to Eat Your First Born Child

2006-06-16T12:02:00.000+10:00

Ah, Ann Coulter, purveyor of hatred, crusher of souls, the world's been waiting for your new "book".

But little did we know that your depraved writings would merely be a crude assemblage of other people's sentence constructions. I guess, in this day and age, even pure hatred lacks originality.

Ann Coulter - bringing plagiarism to a bookstore near you.

Update: From PZ Meyers, Ann Coulter believes Darwin's theory of evolution is discredited science, "one step above scientology in scientific rigor," and the only reason that it's been allowed to continue being taught is because "liberals think evolution disproves God."

Funny Update 2: The Rude Pundit describes entering a bookstore to buy Ann Coulter's book:

"When the Rude Pundit purchased Coulter's "book," he went to an out of the way megastore where he could be anonymous. He asked for a paper bag so no one could see what he was carrying. He's been less discreet about buying lesbian porn mags. In fact, when he got it home, the Rude Pundit took the Coulter cover off and wrapped it in a copy of Chicks With Dicks. He'd rather people think that he jacks off to she-males than that he reads Ann Coulter."

A Reflection of Darkness

2006-06-15T01:44:00.000+10:00

I'm starting out upon the first few pages of Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness and already I perceive it is to be one of the most beautifully written books that I've ever read.

It is a quarter to two in the morning. I can't sleep.

Playstation Giving Off Good Vibrations?

2006-06-13T23:17:00.000+10:00

This is both extremely progressive and enlightened or completely misogynistic. You be the judge.

And no, I wasn't searching for dirty stuff on the internet.

When Monday's comedown of yesteryear becomes a Wednesday, Thursday or Friday of this year

2006-06-12T01:12:00.000+10:00

I was going to write a post about my weekend. But it'd be pretty much the same post as you'd get to describe a hundred other such weekends. We're talking about a photocopy - picture after picture after picture of the same landscape. And as with all copies, the scene remains the same but the colors begin to fade.

As with the rat trapped down the well, I'm circling, circling, circling. With futilely pumping legs I'm treading that water with no hope of rescue. I'm damn tired.

The World Cup at Tomdispatch

2006-06-09T12:12:00.000+10:00

A great article from Tomdispatch about the World Cup and how it fits into the larger geopolitical narrative.

I'm not sure I agree with this though:

"...and I'd be surprised if World War II memories escape a mention when Australia plays Japan."

Jon Stewart Vs. Bill Bennett

2006-06-08T15:10:00.000+10:00

Seriously, you've got to check out this video footage of Jon Stewart debating gay marriage with conservative Bill Bennett.

A small section of the Crooks and Liars transcript:

Stewart: So why not encourage gay people to join in in that family arrangement if that is what provides stability to a society?

Bennett: Well I think if gay..gay people are already members of families...

Stewart: What? (almost spitting out his drink)

Bennett: They're sons and they're daughters..

Stewart: So that's where the buck stops, that's the gay ceiling.

Bennett Look, it's a debate about whether you think marriage is between a man and a women.

Stewart:I disagree, I think it's a debate about whether you think gay people are part of the human condition or just a random fetish.

A second video would have been great as well. The footage of me pumping my fist and exclaiming, "fuck yeah!" every time that Stewart hit home with another great point.

More on the Spreading Chestnut Tree

2006-06-08T13:54:00.000+10:00

Another true hero of the blogs gets shafted by neoconservatives:

'Juan Cole, one of the country’s top Middle East scholars, was poised for the biggest step of his career.

A tenured professor at the University of Michigan, Cole was tapped earlier this year by a Yale University search committee to teach about the modern Middle East. In two separate votes in May, Cole was approved by both the sociology and history departments, the latter the university’s largest.

The only remaining hurdle was the senior appointments committee, also known as the tenure committee, a group consisting of about a half-dozen professors from various disciplines across the university.

Last week, however, in what is shaping up as the latest in a series of heated battles over the political affiliations of Middle Eastern studies professors, the tenure committee voted down Cole’s nomination. Several Yale faculty members described the decision to overrule the votes of the individual departments as “highly unusual.”'

A smear campaign was run in the mainstream media in an effort to quash Professor Cole's nomination to Yale University. Funnily enough, none of his detractors were experts in middle eastern affairs.

(Via Talking Points Memo)

Okay, you didn't ask...

2006-06-08T11:38:00.000+10:00

...so I'm going to tell you.

My favorite cake is cheesecake. Blueberry cheesecake.

And, it must be baked.

Investigating "Incidents" in Iraq

2006-06-08T10:50:00.000+10:00

Haditha:

(Bold emphasis is mine)

"The process by which all human beings in a region transmogrify into the hated and feared enemy works in reverse as well. As in the case of My Lai, the dead by some strange process can change back into aunts, grandfathers, children, babies. It can happen on the spot. As Ryan Briones, the first Marine from Kilo Company to speak out (though evidently not one of the killers), described the scene: "They ranged from little babies to adult males and females. I'll never be able to get that out of my head. I can still smell the blood. This left something in my head and heart."

The whole article is well worth reading. It reveals the similarity between indiscriminate use of airborne force and massacres on the ground:

(Bold emphasis is mine)

"On March 20th of that year, Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld chose to begin the invasion of Iraq with a "shock and awe" campaign of American missile and air wizardry over Baghdad. He meant to shock and awe a waiting world of potential enemies with the news that we were to be the dominatrix of all history. At the same time -- all things for all men -- in one fell swoop the U.S. would also "decapitate" Saddam's regime in downtown Baghdad (and elsewhere). The results: Of fifty "decapitation attacks," as the slaughter that passed for war began, not a single one killed an Iraqi leader of even the most minor sort, but scores of Baghdadi civilians died. In just four of these attacks that Human Rights Watch was able to investigate, 42 noncombatants were killed and many more wounded. One early missile attack was on "a civilian Baghdad restaurant where faulty U.S. intelligence suggested that Hussein might be having dinner," reports journalist Robert Parry. "As it turned out, Hussein was not there, but the attack killed 14 civilians, including seven children." Not quite Haditha numbers, but close enough; and this would set the tone in "accidental" death for the "liberation" of Iraq that was to follow. It simply never ended."

Bare witness. To do so over a long enough timeline will probably be enough to make me lop off an ear and wander away through the wilderness. But it feels like an obligation.

How your private actions impact Christians

2006-06-07T22:06:00.000+10:00

Mr. Lefty draws forth the sword of reason and eviscerates the spurious arguments put forward by Australian fundamentalists who believe that gay marriage threatens the fabric of society:

"It is indeed an outrage. Every time a gay person gets married in Canada, it's an impost on Jim Wallace's marriage. Suddenly, he's not as special any more. Suddenly, he starts to look at other men on the street instead of his wife."

Seriously though, I find that the gibbering worship of Christians impacts upon my secular lifestyle. Think about it.

The perennial bad guy

2006-06-06T16:33:00.000+10:00

And, speaking of Garry Oldman, I mentioned in the comment reply that I thought his best role was as Stansfield in The Professional. I also said that his maniacal, faux Jamaican character in True Romance was mesmerizing. It was, however, remiss of me not to make mention of the Big Bad, the One and Only - Dracula. Gary Oldman fucking made that movie; he held up Keanu Reeves' end the way Jim Carey held up Matthew Broderick's in The Cable Guy.

Anyway, a little Oldman to lighten up your day:

Mathilda: You killed my brother.
Stansfield: I'm sorry. And you want to join him?
Mathilda: No.
Stansfield: It's always the same thing. It's when you start to become really afraid of death that you learn to appreciate life. Do you like life, sweetheart?
Mathilda: Yes.
Stansfield: That's good, because I take no pleasure in taking life if it's from a person who doesn't care about it.

Rude Punditry

2006-06-02T18:06:00.000+10:00

For those of you out there who often wish you knew a little bit more about politics, I'd recommend the Rude Pundit, whose most recent blog post started thusly:

"Whenever Michelle Malkin (who needs to be caged like a rabid shih-tzu) appears on Bill O'Reilly's Fox "News" show, it's a little like watching two hyenas rip into the corpse of a gazelle. They're in it together, their target can't fight back, and they're gonna rip that fucker to meaty shreds until they're good and done. So it was that on Tuesday, Malkin joined O'Reilly (who needs to be sodomized with a microphone) to "talk" about San Francisco's board of supervisors may vote to get rid of the Junior ROTC program in its high schools because of the "Don't ask, don't tell" policies towards gays."

The Rude Pundit makes politics fun and understandable, while at the same time he strikes straight at the beating heart of each issue. If you're thinking about getting in touch with your inner leftist you should check him out.

There is a club, everyone wants in - it's called club "ex"

2006-06-01T20:48:00.000+10:00

I've been omitting mentioning something on this blog for the last, oh, six months or so. I guess I didn't mention it because I didn't want to put the kibosh on things. But certain recent events have occurred which now allow me to fill in the blanks. You see I've been (had been) seeing a girl over the last couple of months. She was an art history post-graduate student at a university in the city. There was a lot of things I liked about her - she loved movies, had a charming personality, was far smarter than me, and she could hold fantastic conversations. Unfortunately, over the weekend she decided to join an ever increasing list of girls that have preferred the status of 'ex' Quixotic lover. Yep, she kicked my ass to the curb midday talk show style.

Now when it's one or two girls you can kind of tell yourself that it was bad timing. You weren't suited, you know? It just wasn't meant to be. She didn't appreciate your unique virtues. All the shit that Dr. Phil would tell you to think (okay, that's the second day time television reference - I promise I don't watch any). But when you've built up a base of past girlfriends large enough to fill the southern stand of the MCG you've got to ask yourself some hard questions. Do you smell? Are you an arrogant prick? Do you make Andre the Giant look pretty? The problem is that I'm generally not too bad in a relationship - I don't have high expectations, I'm loyal, I'm not jealous, and I like to maintain a sense of individuality. I think I'm fairly entertaining to be around, and I can hold a decent conversation on most topics worth discussing. I can even bring on the funny. No really.

So what am I doing wrong? Am I too casual? Ugly? Smelly? I'm no Johnny Depp, but who is? And I figure that if John Howard can find a wife then I should be able to find a girl interested in hanging around past the two month mark. One night stands are fun, sure, and yet they get a little yawn-worthy after awhile. Oh well, the idea of spending my days reading good books, watching great movies and listening to my favorite tunes isn't completely unbearable.

"Under the spreading chestnut tree, I sold you and you sold me"

2006-06-01T01:56:00.000+10:00

Movie Review

2006-05-31T17:26:00.000+10:00

(This is the first movie review of mine that'll be published in Inpress magazine. Three hundred words isn't exactly a lot to work with, but hopefuly I've conveyed the film's general vibe.)

THE CIVILIZATION OF MAXWELL BRIGHT
(Sneak Preview Entertainment)
"Mr. Bright, every man, all of us, wants a mother again; someone who'll give us everything and expect nothing in return no matter how badly we act. But a hundred thousand dollars, a hundred million dollars, no amount of money will ever take us back to that world. It's a huge gate that closes behind childhood and never reopens."

Maxwell Bright (Patrick Warburton - remember 'Putty' from Seinfeld?) has a big problem. Actually, he has several problems, but in order to avoid giving away some important drama from the film we'll stick to the central issue. Maxwell Bright is a rampant misogynist. Completely incapable of feeling empathy for women, Max lives in a state of perpetual angst, waiting for the next affront to come from "bull-dyke feminist pigs".

Not surprisingly Mr. Bright lives a life devoid of feminine relationships. Boozing and playing poker with his buddies, Max is descending into a state of sub-human squalor. It is on the back of his latest relationship implosion that Max decides to purchase a more compliant, Asian "mail order" bride.

Unfortunately - or rather, fortunately - for Max there is more to come from his purchase than he is bargaining on. Maxwell's story truly begins when Mai Lei (Marie Matiko), Max's bought bride, arrives at his door. Instead of serving Max's chauvinistic aspirations Mai Lei ends up becoming a metaphoric mirror, held up to reflect his ignorance and selfishness. And when Max's very mortality comes into question it is with the help of Mai Lei that we begin to see the civilization of Maxwell Bright.

Books, covers, judgment - I know I read a fable once that involved a saying along those lines. It is a saying I should have remembered when I picked up this movie for, ignoring the laborious cover art and quotations, The Civilization of Maxwell Bright has a tightly constructed narrative and compelling, believable, at times even confronting, performances by the lead actors. It's a bit B-Grade production meets art house narrative, but it is well worth the watch.

Extra features: Nada

-Bud Rose

A fact's a fact

2006-05-30T15:38:00.000+10:00

The time has come
To say fair's fair
To pay the rent
To pay our share
The time has come
A fact's a fact
It belongs to them
Let's give it back

How can we dance when our earth is turning
How do we sleep while our beds are burning
How can we dance when our earth is turning
How do we sleep while our beds are burning

In light of the current revelations (revelations which, I suspect strongly, every sentient human in Australia has an awareness of, at least on the periphery of their consciousness) detailing the horrific plight of our first Australians, I think it is important to step back from all the policy wonkery and come to an understanding of one simple thing. You can talk of law and order, you can discuss money and programs, you can convene endless committees and think tanks, but unless you change what's in the hearts of a great many Australians you'll never achieve much of anything.

The magical stories of the dreamtime, our first Australians' wealth of bush lore, and their amazing works of art - all that stuff is fascinating and should be embraced with the same vigor that, say, the New Zealanders embrace the Maori culture. When Australians travel world wide they should feel proud that Aboriginal culture is their culture - it should be a point of honor. We should look history in the eye and admit, honestly, that we've very nearly decimated the first custodians of this country.

Until our first Australians occupy a special place in our national consciousness there will be no policy, financial expenditure, or ideology that can help them. Embracing aboriginal folk will not be an easy process. There will be a lot of painful reflection required on all sides. But with an economy that is booming, and with our recent budget offering generous tax cuts for a large chunk of people, surely we can't accept indigenous infant mortality at rates three times higher than that of the Anglo population, or adult mortality that regularly occurs twenty years earlier than the national mean.

John Howard says that he doesn't want to embrace a "black armband view of history." When John Howard refused to say sorry he became a black armband on our history. Our first Australians are at the root of our culture, and their ancestors sit at the dawn of our nation's bloody history whether we like it or not.

Update: Reader Anthony recommends an article from The Australian that puts the issue into perspective.

I'm humbled

2006-05-28T13:19:00.000+10:00

Once upon a time there was a little girl. This little girl was like any other, only this little girl's father was a monster. This despicable waste of atoms engaged in all sorts of lovely activities - he knocked all the girl's teeth out, broke her ribs, and forced her to live in constant terror.

Today that little girl, grown into a woman, will head to that monster's dementia ward; she'll comfort him, clean him, tell him everything will be okay.

It's funny really, I don't believe in god or angels, but that said I'm forced to admit this - on a Sunday morning my mother seems rather like one of those angels sent from a heaven that I don't believe in.

Congratulations and welcome...

2006-05-27T12:42:00.000+10:00

...to the influx of readers (from such places as Shipley, England, and Tallinn, Estonia) that have arrived at my blog by searching the word "panties."

Let's hope it was Hillary's panties you were looking for...

Hillary's Panties

2006-05-26T12:24:00.000+10:00

It is extremely telling that the American MSM is more interested in sniffing Hillary's panties than they are in listening to her policy prescriptions. Now I'm not necessarily a fan of the idea of Hillary as president, and this is mainly because a lot of the things that she advocates don't match up with my leftist principles. This doesn't mean, however, that she should be judged on the strength of her sex life with Bill.

Think about it. Bill Clinton was under constant attack because he placed the presidential penis in an intern's mouth, and yet George Bush has received no scrutiny for his role in the butchering of pre-war Iraq intelligence handling. It seems to me that conservative Americans are more worried about what people are doing in the private confines of their bedrooms than they are about issues such as war and sustainability.

As a slightly related afterthought, just think about censorship in cinema - violent action films are almost always given a pass (say an 'M' rating), whilst sex in films is censored back to the reel. My fundamentalist sister is more than happy for her children to watch violent movies or play violent videogames, however the very mention of sex has her reaching for the off button. I'd suggest if people were
having more sex and engaging in less violence then the world would be a better place. But, hey, maybe I've got it all backwards.

Update: The Bush administration is continuing its efforts to ban birth control:

"The last two appointees to head the FDA were closely involved in decisions to overrule the agency's medical reviewers and block the "morning-after" birth control pill from being sold without a prescription, according to court transcripts to be released today."

Let's work through this simply - fundamentalists want to ban abortion and they also want to ban contraception. Their agenda, simply put, is to destroy consequence-free sex. I'm not sure why these people hate sex so much, 'cause I've always found it quite enjoyable.

Patently Pathetic Points (or, Awkwardly Awful Alliteration)

2006-05-25T22:58:00.000+10:00

Pathetic point form notes because, well, I've given up any hope of ever being a big-time, uber-serious political blogger of note. Nah, I never really had those aspirations, or at least they were fleeting; sort of like the way you dream of being that muscle-bound action hero when you're a young kid.

So, feel the sharp tip of my points:

I went away to Phillip Island with some friends over the weekend. While we were up there I came third in our quarterly minigolf championship. Third place is about where I fit into the world.
I've been very sick lately. Whatever it is that is wrong with me I'm having trouble shaking it. I wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat, and I find I'm very tired during the day.
I've shaved off the beard - all of my male friends liked it, and all of my female friends despised it. I guess it shows which way I'm hedging my bets, huh?
I've been offered some work reviewing movies for a street magazine called Inpress. Pretty cool hey? The magazine will send me DVDs and I'll send them back three hundred words. It's a pity that, despite being a massive movie fan, I can't write for shit.
Speaking of films, on Monday I saw L'Enfer (that's French for hell apparently). I'm on a French film bent at the moment. I'd describe French films as frustratingly beautiful - a wanky term that would probably describe one or two of my past relationships.
I'd like to write a post about heteronormativity. I had a frustrating discussion with some of my friends while I was away, and it's got me to thinking about how people in my position that don't plan to get married or have children are subtly pressured by the clucky masses to toe the (human production) line.
Jedmunds likes Oasis. I think they're okay but by no means do they ascend beyond mediocre. If you trawl through the comments on his post mine are under 'J'.
I haven't had a cigarette in 14 weeks. Somebody want to share a joint with me?
Do you suppose this may have been the most boring, and hideously insipid blog post in the history of the blogosphere?

I'm not sure why this isn't a point form note as well. I guess because it's a conclusion. There is a campy, b&w horror film on SBS at the moment, and I'm going to settle in for some spookiness.

Goodnight xox

Cartoon Crosses in its Eyes

2006-05-24T23:26:00.000+10:00

It's funny the reaction I get when someone asks me my starsign at a party. I tell them I'm a Scorpio, and they go, "Ooh, ooh okay" in a tone that you'd expect to hear if you told your best friend you have testicular cancer. I don't believe in starsigns. I'm certainly not the nasty, stinging creature depicted by the scorpion. In fact there are lots of things that people who judge me by my starsign will never know. They'll never know that I can't have a shower without removing the daddy longlegs from it so that they won't be drowned. They'll never know that I don't bait my hook when I go fishing with my old man.

However I did discover yesterday that maybe there is a bit of the scorpion in me. Standing at Flinders Street Station waiting for a train, I found myself wondering why the guy on the platform across from me was throwing all his chips onto the tracks in front of us. The answer soon came when an arriving train ran over the seagull that was eating the chips off the track. The guy grinned triumphantly to his friend; they both had a chuckle about it. I doubt they had any idea how close they came to receiving a sting they'd remember for a long time.

I looked at the broken little body on the tracks, observing the feathers shifting gently in the afternoon breeze. I wondered to myself if maybe that tiny bird was a metaphor for something much bigger. Sighing, I made my way home.

Silly Monkey

2006-05-24T12:31:00.000+10:00

So I haven't been able to get onto the internet for a couple of days. In an effort to fix things I pulled plugs, pressed buttons, and danced around making strange caveman-like grunting sounds.

I kept getting a message saying "wireless receiver is turned off."

Today I noticed a button on my keyboard that says "Wireless."

It has taken me two days to figure this out.

Anyway, apologies for the absence, and you can expect a proper update this evening.

Horrible eggs

2006-05-18T23:55:00.000+10:00

Their gooey yellow centers repulse me. Their fluffy white marshmallow surrounds can induce my gag reflex upon a single sighting. Eggs. Add sugar, milk, flour, and some butter and you've got a cake. Vary the ingredients slightly and you've got any number of different creations - pancakes, muffins, scones; an egg will take you a long way. Versatile eggs. Ubiquitous eggs. Horrible, loathsome eggs.

Most children have a particular food they dislike as they're growing up, for some it's brussel sprouts (I never had a problem with brussels, but hell, they sure do make your pee smell funny), for others spinach, and still others despise pumpkin. Me? Growing up I hated eggs. Thinking back to my childhood, the unholy balls of goo hadn't reached the terrible prominence that they occupy in my life today. I disliked them, but I could look at them on another's plate and not be put off the meal in front of me.

But that was all to change when Muriel entered my life. If you were to exhume Karen Carpenter's anorexic corpse and place it in a pair of ratty pink moccasins, you'd have an idea of what Muriel looked like. With Sunken cheeks, eyes so crinkled they made a 'craw' noise every time she cast a glance your way, and skin the dreary stucco of a fifties weatherboard house, Muriel was a wraith that still haunts my nightmares to this very day.

I can still see Muriel standing there, wearing a dressing gown at three in the afternoon, defiantly blowing a cigarette's pungent smoke straight into my nine year old eyes. I remember the movies that she'd put on, movies that someone my age shouldn't have been watching. And I remember her terrible children; they were older than me and intensely nasty. Who could blame them I guess. If she treated them with half as much contempt as she treated me then it's no surprise they ended up being bratty little shits.

You're probably wondering how all this ties into my dislike for eggs. Well, let me tell you. One time, during one of my delightful stays at Muriel's place she summoned us inside for lunch. I'm sure you can guess what she'd cooked. The eggs were done in the style that requires you to eat them from the shell; hardboiled I think it's called. I begged and pleaded, but Muriel was not one for clemency. I choked and gagged as she force-fed me. Yoke juice the color of a Fanta can ran down my chin. The terrible stench of egg assaulted my nostrils. I began to cry.

On that terrible day I developed the only phobia that I possess (I believe my fear of churches is quite rational as I seem to start sizzling and smoking every time I go near one). I'll dry-retch if I see an egg or smell one cooking. I can't eat foods which include obvious signs of egg - think quiche, meringue, or smoothies; and, if someone reminds me that there is egg in less obvious foods - think cake or pancake - then I'll be unable to eat those foods on the occasion that it's brought to my attention. I guess what I'm trying to say is that egg horrifies me, and yes, Muriel, that fucking harpy, horrified me too.

2006-05-17T23:31:00.000+10:00

One of these days I'll tell the dark tale that lead me to eventually take up blogging. Maybe I'll make it a private post, so those that want to read it can let me know and I'll email it to them.

In other, brighter news, I received an A for my politics assignment. I keep getting surprised at the grades I've been getting as they have been at least 20% higher than I would have expected.

Hidden (Cache)

2006-05-17T02:40:00.000+10:00

Foreword:

I'll start out this humble little film review by apologizing for the delay in submission. I said on Saturday that it'd be available "tomorrow", however I found myself succumbing to illness over the last couple of days, which put me behind at school and left me with no time to blog. I'd also like to warn folks in advance that at some stage in this post there may be spoilage of Hidden's narrative details. I'll do my best to avoid giving away too much of the plot, in particular the plot's conclusion, and I'll do this by taking only a cursory look at the storyline.

So, with no further delay allow me to present:

Hidden (Cache)

The first striking thing about Michael Haneke’s Hidden, something the viewer becomes aware of from the very first scene, is the effortless way that the director goes about creating multifaceted, multi-leveled, worlds within worlds. The film starts out looking upon the front of a very ordinary, if slightly swanky, inner-city French dwelling. People go about the daily business of normality. A lady exits the house, presumably starting out her working day. The status quo prevails. Or does it? Suddenly our view distorts, static runs across the scene, the action does a double take, and we realize that, through the eyes of the central characters, Georges and Anne Laurent (Daniel Auteuil and Juliette Binoche), we've been watching a recording which is now being viewed on a television. Such a beautiful deception of the viewer creates a complex problem from the outset - are we viewing the world through our own eyes, the eyes of the thus far anonymous cameraman, or, the eyes of the central characters currently watching themselves on tape?

In all aspects of the film's narrative there are complex questions being asked. The film within the film (the question of viewer perspective) is only one such question. In fact the levels of allegory and metaphor in Hidden are both so vast and at the same time so simple that any true movie fan will experience the heart-achingly breathless feeling associated with watching a once-in-a-lifetime production. More exposition is required to back up that bold assertion, I know, so let's take a look at the simple storyline, with a view to seeing the not-so-simple big picture.

Georges and Anne live a very comfortable married life in their rather well-protected abode. Georges does a televised lit review and Anne works for a prestigious publishing house. They both appear to be very competent, progressive, enlightened adults. Consider them members of the French intelligentsia. Georges and Anne begin to receive videotaped footage of their neat little life, delivered to their front door. As the deliveries begin to escalate to include crude drawings of a somewhat violent nature, we begin to see a corresponding corrosion of the comfortable assumptions of Georges' and Anne's existence. Georges starts to suspect that he knows who is sending him the tapes, and his quest to find out brings him face to face, as seen through a series of flashbacks, with the dark truth of his past. This is Hidden's surface storyline, and even on its own it is compelling, with a seamless Hitchcockian handling of tension that conjures forth the spirit of Rearview Mirror.

However, to leave Hidden with a surface explanation would be like fucking without that wonderful first kiss - you may have had fun, but you'll have missed the truly important, subtle, and downright beautiful part of the transaction. You see, Georges and Anne are far more than just Georges and Anne. They are also France. They are France's guilt; her short memory; her indifference; her desire to look elsewhere for the source of blame. As Georges twists and turns under the microscope - or, the camera, if you will - a terrible act of personal selfishness becomes a metaphor for a nation's dereliction of its moral responsibilities (note that some knowledge of France's Algerian imperial history will help the viewer be cognizant of this). All this occurs against a backdrop of cinematic disturbance (you'll understand what I'm talking about when you come upon these remarkable editing feats) so sharp, and so unexpected, that the viewer feels stung, as if slapped in the face by the director. It doesn't stop there however, and this is where the movie ascends to the lofty realm reserved for my favorite films. You see, by falling into the director's deliberate trap of looking for the guilty party with Georges we are shown something important about ourselves. When we look without instead of within, desperately searching for a boogeyman that doesn't remind us of ourselves quite so much as Georges and Anne do, the guilty party is revealed as being us.

Rating: Hidden is directed with the restraint of a master. Its actors acquit themselves with aplomb. And its storyline provides infinite avenues of possibility and contemplation. I haven't been as excited as this about a film in a long time. Hidden rates as four Quixotic windmills out of five.

Tomorrow

2006-05-13T21:17:00.000+10:00

Tomorrow, if I manage to find myself in less of a shambles than I'm in today, I'll submit a review of a most awesome and peculiar film that I watched Friday night -'Hidden'.

My mind has been blown and tomorrow I'll share.

2006-05-10T06:04:00.000+10:00

Okay, somebody in America managed to find my site by typing my full name into google. Who in America would even know my real name?

Sick (and so is the blog?)

2006-05-09T20:41:00.000+10:00

I'm wracked with aches and drenched in sweat. I have a sore throat and headache, both so nasty they've merged and become one pulsing, flaming wave of evil. I probably should have got the free flu shot that was offered at work. Avoiding the Melbourne Breakbeat thingy on Friday night would have been smart as well - the end result of that venture was as predictable as a character death in a soapie with flagging ratings.

Disconnection comes strongest in a thumping, bouncing club full of people that are there to socialize and have fun. The irony used to amuse me, but now it's just a drag.

A point of concern has arisen. If I type my name into Google the link for this site comes up. Not an indirect link, not a referred link, but a straight-out, direct link. This is puzzling and worrisome: puzzling because there is no mention of my real name on this site, or in the personal details that I provided to open it; worrisome for very obvious reasons. It could be time for the blog to die and for a new one to be born elsewhere. But it's best not to make such decisions in the midst of a fever.

Iraqoholics anonymous

2006-05-08T21:10:00.000+10:00

Are YOU an Iraqwaroholic? Having trouble quitting your destructive addiction? In denial? The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. The next step is to ensure you don't substitute one addiction for another. And, there are people who want to help.

More details on the consequences of Iraqaholism:

"BAGHDAD — More Iraqi civilians were killed in Baghdad during the first three months of this year than at any time since the toppling of Saddam Hussein's regime — at least 3,800, many of them found hogtied and shot execution-style.

Others were strangled, electrocuted, stabbed, garroted or hanged. Some died in bombings. Many bore signs of torture such as bruises, drill holes, burn marks, gouged eyes or severed limbs."

Cold spit on their cheek; drool of a zombie?

2006-05-07T23:01:00.000+10:00

I've never been one for reality television, but lately my disdain has become almost pathological. I find that if an advertisement comes up for, say, Big Brother, and I don't avert my gaze in time to avoid seeing it, I feel the urge to vomit. What a sad, pathetic little circus the human experiment has turned out to be. Granted the gift of reason, possibly the only creatures in this cold, infinite universe capable of staring at the heavens with awe; capable, indeed, of investigating those heavens and even, by extension, of discovering our origins in the star dust from whence we came; and, instead, look at what we choose. I'm no intellectual, nor an elite, however I think it's pretty obvious, even to a layman like me, that something has gone awfully wrong with our way of thinking.

Pot to Kettle - 'You're Black'

2006-05-05T18:53:00.000+10:00

Dick Cheney rebukes Russia for human rights abuses.

An Animated Discussion

2006-05-05T17:12:00.000+10:00

Somewhere in the vicinity of four years ago a friend took me to a preview screening of an animated film called Cowboy Bebop. I can't remember why they had the tickets - I suspect it had something to do with them working for Madman Distribution. Going in I remember being extremely skeptical; however, coming out I was amazed and enthused. I realized at the time that I'd been missing out on a really interesting medium. The same friend that took me to see the feature film later managed to get me a free boxed set of the television series. If anything, the series is even better than the film. The characters are extremely well developed, the narrative is both tight and quirky at the same time, and the soundtrack, man, the soundtrack far surpasses anything we get to see in our traditional television series. In short, I'm totally hooked on Bebop.

I figured if Bebop was great I'd easily be able to find other series that are just as enjoyable. The problem I've encountered is that a quick glance over the shelves of the local JB HiFi reveals such a diverse range of animation that I'm unable to figure out what is worth buying. It seems like, as with all other forms of media, there is a lot of chafe and not very much wheat. Coupled with the vast range of animation is my very specific idea of what I want to watch. I'm not really interested in the shows that are aimed at children, or the ones that are packed full of magic, fantasy, or aliens. I like the ones that are set slightly in the future; but that future has to be relatively probable. I like plots involving government and corporate corruption. I picked up 'Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex', and, fortunately, that filled the bill nicely. It isn't as good as Bebop, but it's still quite entertaining.

So now I'm wondering where to go from here. I've finished Standalone Complex, and I'm hungry for more. I'm sure the net can provide the answers. But the websites are probably like the series - too many and of a quality so rocky and undulating that to hit on a good one will amount to potluck. Hmmm, some thought is required.

A major blow struck for Labor politics in Victoria

2006-05-04T11:21:00.000+10:00

State Liberal leader Robert Doyle quits parliament.

Now that Bracks is no longer facing one of the most insipid politicians in Australian history Victorian Labor may have to work that little bit harder.

Mission Accomplished

2006-05-02T19:56:00.000+10:00

Let's picture me landing a jet on the lawn of Latrobe University. Picture me springing from the jet, adorned in my finest flight gear. Picture, if you will, me declaring upon disembarking, "mission accomplished." Do you think if I did that tomorrow the University would allow me to finish my degree three years early?

"So glad to see you well
Overcome and completely silent now
With heaven's help
You cast your demons out
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're planning to go about
Making your amends to the dead"

Dissent

2006-05-01T13:19:00.000+10:00

Someone with the necessary minerals calls things as they really are. And, what's more, he said these things in front of the president and his whole entourage:

"Mrs. Smith, ladies and gentlemen of the press corps, Mr. President and first lady, my name is Stephen Colbert and it's my privilege tonight to celebrate our president. He's not so different, he and I. We get it. We're not brainiacs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the factinista. We go straight from the gut, right sir? That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say I did look it up, and that's not true. That's [right?], but you looked it up in a book.

Next time, look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works. Every night on my show, the Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, OK? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the "No Fact Zone." Fox News, I own the copyright on that term."

And then, some more:

"I haven't. I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he has stood on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world."

Then he addresses the media who were also in attendance:

"But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on NSA wiretapping or secret prisons in eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason: they're super depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew."

Update: If you'd like to see the video footage of the above address click here.

Update 2: I just watched the full video myself - it bites much deeper than the few quotes that I've provided indicate. There are a lot of uncomfortable people in that room. It is just the way I like it.

Gattaca

2006-05-01T00:57:00.000+10:00

"For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I'm suddenly having a hard time leaving it. Of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I'm not leaving... maybe I'm going home."

Gattaca, in my opinion, was one of the best commercially oriented films of recent times (I guess by 'commercially oriented' I mean that I'm not comparing it with some of my favorite art-house - or whatever you want to call them - films). From its tight, compelling narrative, to its relatively restrained handling of the subject matter, Gattaca never ceases to grab me.

Sometimes, when Vincent, alias Jerome Morrow, is taking off on his mission to Titan I secretly wish that I could be on that flight as well. I wish that I was blasting away from this world with all its hatred and troubles. Heading towards the reassuring unknown from which we came.

Other times, when feeling less somber, I figure I'd settle for looking like Jude Law. A shallow, indulgent fantasy, I know, but looking like what must be one of the best looking men alive serves as a temporary consolation for not making it to the stars.

"And history bears the scars of our civil wars"

2006-04-30T19:58:00.000+10:00

I've decided that to still be a supporter of the egregious Iraq civil war is not dissimilar to being an alcoholic: admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Sure, the pundits and the politicians that supported it have to continue their support, otherwise they'd be drowned under the weight of their lies and mistakes. This doesn't, however, account for the attitudes of some of the ordinary people I know, people that still cling to their faith.

The first Australian soldier died in Iraq recently. It must be terrible for his young family, as it has been for the families of the numerous American soldiers and Iraqi civilians that have died during this monstrous affair. Let's hope that, amidst government obfuscation about the cause of his death and the sending of the wrong body to his family, this country now wakes up.

There should be no other enemy in this day and age but war itself.

The ape kills the ape
Penis and bomb - the lines blur
It never ceases

The things you learn on the news

2006-04-28T17:58:00.000+10:00

In Just a few decades eighty percent of the island chain that is the Maldives will be under water.

This is why I chuckle when I hear other news articles detailing the complaints of "hard working Australians and Americans" paying exorbitant rates at the petrol pump. You think that high petrol prices will be the worst thing to arise out of this world's insane addiction to petroleum?

Try watching your wallet float out the front door of your house - all of a sudden things will fall into perspective.

I've enjoyed driving my boss's car to uni, sure. But when I leave here I'll happily return to my car-less life, content to do my homework during the train ride to school. I'll happily walk to the station each day, listening to tunes and taking in the sights. There are so many benefits to finding alternative ways of getting around - you get exercise, save money and, you know, get a sense of what's going on in the world around you.

See, this is what scares me..

2006-04-27T09:23:00.000+10:00

I noticed a comments thread on a website that I visited. The title: 'Are atheists extremists?' The general argument seemed to be that it is an extreme position not to believe in a god. My perspective is that extremism grows from the behavior modification that you think needs to occur in order to satisfy your beliefs. It seems to me that another defining characteristic of extremism is the need that the range of behaviors that you think need to occur in order to satisfy your beliefs must be enforced upon others. Hence, if you think that the baby Jesus weeps every time a man kisses another man then you're an extremist. If you think that you need to bomb an abortion clinic in order to prevent the baby Jesus from crying then you're an extremist. If you think that adultery should be punished through the lopping off of the offenders head, then, yep, you're an extremist.

However, if you don't subscribe to a set of beliefs I fail to see how you're an extremist. I mean, there are political extremists - hardcore communists, fascists, etc - but I think you can lay responsibility for that extremism at the door of the particular political doctrine, not at an absence of religious belief.

I believe that people should engage in pre-marital sex if they so desire. I believe that people should avoid pre-marital sex is their particular superstition prescribes that it be so. Hell, if you want to sit around with a bunch of other people drinking the poisoned orange juice I say you do it (just make sure that it's all drunk by consenting adults). I'm pretty sure that most of my 'atheist' friends would feel the same way. So, are we extreme?

Assault on the Northern Americas 2007 (back on track)

2006-04-25T18:27:00.000+10:00

I've done a little research, whilst jiggling (any excuse to use the word jiggle - it makes me chuckle) my plans a little bit. All things going well this is what is going to happen: During the break between November, which is the end of the school year here, and September, which is the beginning of the school year in Canada, I'm going to work my butt off and save some dollars. The dollars will help me be a little more comfortable during the study year, but given that the university waves the fees (a little something I've found out through my research) and accepts my Australian second year's payment, the burden is certainly lighter. Also, I'm able to claim study assistance from the Aussie government whilst I'm abroad - most excellent news!

My research has also revealed that only one university does the exchange program with my university in the field of arts/humanities. That university is Carleton, "Canada's Capital University", and it's located in Ottawa. A glance at my trusty atlas reveals that Ottawa isn't very far north, so I may not get to see much snow, however it isn't far from the border so a trip to New York would not be out of the question. It's going to take Much planning, Mega dollars, and Massive commitment - which will be referred to from here on in as the Three Ms - but I'm sure I can do it.

Ah, something to look forward to - salting sidewalks... high-fiving bears... towns with funny names… learning to pronounce ‘about’ in Canadaspeak as ‘aboot’... Fun times, fun times.

Politics short assignment

2006-04-24T17:52:00.000+10:00

Addendum: Unless you have a strange interest in the tensions inherent within Australia's liberal democracy you probably won't enjoy reading this. Damn! Writing it at the last minute after a busy weekend means that I stuffed it up pretty badly as well. Fingers crossed that I pass...

According to Andrew Parkin (p.13), liberal democratic politics entails managing the tension between liberal and democratic values: ‘Structuring many political disputes and arguments…is the much deeper phenomenon of the balance (shifting, sliding, adjusting, recorrecting, but always present) between liberal and democratic instincts, voices and embedded practices’.

Explain what Parkin means by this statement. Give examples to illustrate his claims

Andrew Parkin, in his comment on the tension inherent within Australia’s liberal democracy, is attempting to explain the balancing act that must be performed in order for Australia’s political system to accommodate two political theories that can at times possess conflicting aims. Though not saying that liberalism and democracy are incompatible, Parkin is suggesting that the two political forces often shape the nature in which politics – from policy to debate – is played out in Australia. In order to understand Parkin’s comments it is necessary to understand the theory underpinning liberalism and democracy; it is also necessary to understand the practical application of these theories as they arise in the Australian political landscape.

Historically, liberal theory developed out of the European desire to wrest power away from the old-regime aristocratic ruling elite. The central desire of liberalism, then, is freedom – emancipation from heavy-handed government participation in the private lives of citizens. The success of liberalism’s central aspiration can be assessed via the emergence of these key indicators: it will be a society with inherent rights, laws and privacy; it will incorporate the development of private business interests, private property and economic prosperity derived from private endeavour; and, finally, the protection of minority interests will be observed.

The methods adopted by liberalism’s adherents to achieve their aim must all be seen through the prism of an attempt to limit the government’s roll in the private lives’ of its citizens. The formation of a written constitution, one that, as Parkin puts it, “specified a list of individual rights which governments may not violate no matter how popular such a violation may be,” plays an important part as a liberalising device. A constitution can be used to set limits on government power; it can also be used to establish a division of government institutions with a view to weakening its ability to accumulate and exercise power. A set of laws, and the government’s observance of these laws (even when applicable to the government itself) is another important medium through which liberalism is observed. These liberal beliefs, initially fermented in Europe, have taken root in Australian politics. Armed with this knowledge we can undertake an examination of another political value that dominates the Australian landscape – democracy.

Although a primitive notion of democracy materialized in ancient Greece the theory did not receive wide popularity until about a hundred years ago. Democracy was originally seen as a threat because it was widely believed that the will of the majority could not be trusted. As we shall see, when democracy is introduced into the context of Australian liberalism, it is this perceived threat that causes one of Parkin’s political tensions.

The main principal of democracy is the communal participation of the citizens in the political process of determining the leadership of the nation. This is brought about by the election through a universally franchised adult vote of a government that has the support of the majority. Elections under democracy must be regular, free and fair. The elected government is (theoretically) expected to represent the will of the majority as well as establish public services – health, defence, education, etc. – in order to meet that expectation. It is through such provisions that the government has an opportunity to establish legitimate authority.

It is important at this juncture to make a small digression into the distinction between liberal-democratic theory and liberal-democratic practical politics. Liberal-democratic theory entails the beliefs and values outlined in the earlier discussion of both liberal and democratic values respectively. However, the various principals found within the two ideologies take a different form when put into practice in working politics. Compromises must be struck, and positions moderated. It would be impossible, as we shall see in the case of government welfare, to satisfy the will of the majority in every instance.

And so we reach the stage of addressing Australian liberal democracy in its applied form. The two aforementioned political belief systems are fused together to form Australia’s present liberal democratic reality. A careful reader will already have observed conflicting aspirations within the two sets of values, and it is these conflicts to which Parkin’s original statement directs itself. On one hand we have democracy’s desire for policy prescriptions representing the will of the majority. In direct conflict with that is liberalism’s desire that the rights of the individual should not be impinged upon.

As Parkin asserts, “it would be a mistake to conclude that successful and durable liberal democracies embody a frictionless reconciliation or amalgamation of the democratic and liberal traditions.” Consider another tension – the liberal desire for limited government. A desire for limited government means that government is prevented from interfering too heavily in the private lives and, importantly, the private economy of individuals. However, as a counterpoint to the desire for limited government, democratic principles necessitate the extraction of taxes from private individuals in order to provide services for the public.

But Parkin actually goes further with his comment. What he is saying is not that the two competing principles necessarily cancel each other out. Instead he is saying that competition between the two colours the way that policy is developed, and moulds the way that politicians interact with each other and the general public. By way of example, Parkin sites an instance of liberal-democracy in Australian practice. The Australian welfare debate entails the democratic notion that taxation from “self-reliant individuals” should provide support for those in need; however standard liberal thinking would encourage a suspicion of the government appropriating money from the individual. This is a debate that is never resolved; it simply remains in a state of tension that is manifest in the way that the different political parties put forward policy.

Another practical example of the playing out of this tension is, or will be, environmental policy – at some stage in the future it is foreseeable that government will have to intercede on behalf of the majority into the private affairs of individuals to achieve positive environmental outcomes. This is already occurring, for example when restrictions are placed on private industry curtailing the amount of carbon emissions that a given business can produce. Once again, under the liberal-democratic framework this is a political discussion that will be in a state of continual conversation; ergo it will continually flavour the nature of policy platform and discourse.

Australia’s liberal-democracy is in a constant state of tension between the desires of the collective and the rights of the individual. We have seen through the various examples, both of the ideological principles of liberalism and democracy and the reality of these principles put into political practice, that politicians must balance these ideas when producing policy and campaigning for election. Parkin’s insightful comment shows us that, although conflicting, the concepts of liberalism and democracy maintain a workable balance in Australia’s political system.

Some lazy point-form notes

2006-04-24T09:38:00.000+10:00

I'm currently house sitting for my old boss. Having his two cars to look after - with all petrol paid for - is a dream.
As part of the house sitting I have in my charge two kitties. They are a constant source of entertainment. Perhaps I should own a cat?
I stuffed up my first vegetarian meal. I made vegetarian lasagna; however, when I looked for a baking tray I found that my boss's tray was too large. What this meant was that I only had too layers of pasta and vegetable, and I ran out of cheesy sauce to place upon the top level of pasta. The meal came out of the oven with a crispy top level rendering it inedible.
Regardless of my botched cooking attempt I have been eating well. I've just been buying nice vegetarian dinners.
Some observations about vegetarianism:
- I've lost quite a bit of weight. I was never large, but I've dropped all the chub. I'd guess I've dropped about 5 kilograms. I'm even seeing some abdominal muscles poking through, something I've not seen since my days of competitive swimming.
- I'm feeling extremely healthy. Not being able to eat meat means that you have to eat far more in the way of fruit and vegetables. The whites of my eyes are much whiter; my skin feels much cleaner. These effects are probably heightened by my period of abstinence from alcohol, cigarettes and other indulgences.
I've joined a rather esteemed club; a club occupied by such illustrious company as: Pappa Smurf; all the members of ZZ top; Greek gods Zeus and Poseidon; the philosophers Aristotle and Plato; authors Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Charles Dickens and Ernest Hemmingway; bushranger Ned Kelly and revolutionary Che Guevara; Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses. S Grant and Margaret Thatcher; Obi Wan Kenobi; Merlin; Captain Ahab from Moby Dick; and, finally, old Father Time. I've grown a beard.
True fact: Don Quixote was depicted as having a beard.
I've been trying to figure out lately whether my first romantic crush was on Belinda Carlisle, Tiffany, or my grade prep girlfriend Elise Harris.
Once upon a dark afternoon when being dumped by my soon to be ex-girlfriend, one of the (many) reasons sited was that I was taking the then looming invasion of Iraq too seriously. Ouch!
The formatting in Blogger sucks the big one.

Dead in its infancy: Assault on the Northern Americas 2007

2006-04-22T16:22:00.000+10:00

A great plan had been afoot. A glorious plan. Unfortunately, very little planning had gone into the plan. A plan with out planning is a non sequitur; moreover, it's likely that such a plan will fail - which has happened in this case.

See, Latrobe University, the university that I'm attending, has a sister university in Canada. A student can complete a year of their studies overseas, which would be a great opportunity for someone getting on in years (in scholastic terms), someone just like me. I would have been able to combine travel and study, getting both things accomplished at the same time.

At the end of the study year I was planning on buying a cheap car that I was then to drive south down into the USA. I was going to spend the end of year break driving around America, maybe visiting New York maybe visiting San Francisco. What I hadn't figured into my plans was Canada's scholastic year starting at a different time to Australia's. So although I'd finish the school year here around November, the school year doesn't start over in Canada until September. This would mean that nearly a year would pass until I could start my second year - time I can't really afford.

Thus, and ever so sadly, 'Assault on the Northern Americas 2007' has been killed in its infancy, a casualty of my poor planning. I guess I could do the whole thing in reverse - travel 'round the USA first, working my way north, ending up in Canada to start the school year in September. But that is a whole new plan and it will require some serious contemplation.

Fox Report

2006-04-22T09:54:00.000+10:00

"State Rep. wants legal hunting age lowered from 12 to 8."

Fuckheads!

In other fuckheadedness, Ann Coulter on rape:

"Whenever a gun is used in a crime, there are never-ending news stories about how dangerous guns are. But these girls go out alone, late at night, drunk off their butts, and there’s nary a peep about the dangers of drunk women on their own in public. It’s their “right.”"

Geez, Ann, any chance they don't talk about drunk women out on their own because... drunk women should be able to go out on their own without having to worry about being raped?

Fuckheads I say!

Poetic Prophecy

2006-04-21T16:49:00.000+10:00

I've been trying to broaden my blogging horizons by reading a few literary blogs. On Chekhov's Mistress I came across a poem by Bukowski I once read.

Suffice to say it holds a fairly higher degree of resonance for me now:

Dinosauria, we

Born like this
Into this
As the chalk faces smile
As Mrs. Death laughs
As the elevators break
As political landscapes dissolve
As the supermarket bag boy holds a college degree
As the oily fish spit out their oily prey
As the sun is masked
We are
Born like this
Into this
Into these carefully mad wars
Into the sight of broken factory windows of emptiness
Into bars where people no longer speak to each other
Into fist fights that end as shootings and knifings
Born into this
Into hospitals which are so expensive that it's cheaper to die
Into lawyers who charge so much it's cheaper to plead guilty
Into a country where the jails are full and the madhouses closed
Into a place where the masses elevate fools into rich heroes
Born into this
Walking and living through this
Dying because of this
Muted because of this
Castrated
Debauched
Disinherited
Because of this
Fooled by this
Used by this
Pissed on by this
Made crazy and sick by this
Made violent
Made inhuman
By this
The heart is blackened
The fingers reach for the throat
The gun
The knife
The bomb
The fingers reach toward an unresponsive god
The fingers reach for the bottle
The pill
The powder
We are born into this sorrowful deadliness
We are born into a government 60 years in debt
That soon will be unable to even pay the interest on that debt
And the banks will burn
Money will be useless
There will be open and unpunished murder in the streets
It will be guns and roving mobs
Land will be useless
Food will become a diminishing return
Nuclear power will be taken over by the many
Explosions will continually shake the earth
Radiated robot men will stalk each other
The rich and the chosen will watch from space platforms
Dante's Inferno will be made to look like a children's playground
The sun will not be seen and it will always be night
Trees will die
All vegetation will die
Radiated men will eat the flesh of radiated men
The sea will be poisoned
The lakes and rivers will vanish
Rain will be the new gold
The rotting bodies of men and animals will stink in the dark wind
The last few survivors will be overtaken by new and hideous diseases
And the space platforms will be destroyed by attrition
The petering out of supplies
The natural effect of general decay
And there will be the most beautiful silence never heard
Born out of that.
The sun still hidden there
Awaiting the next chapter.

And suddenly a new contender appears

2006-04-20T11:04:00.000+10:00

Think Ann Coulter is bad? Radio shock-jock Michael Savage makes Coulter look like a saint. On his recent radio show Savage advocates the "killing of 100 million" Muslims and calls the alleged Duke rape victim a "drunken slut stripping whore." Later on he goes further and calls the rape allegation "the product of the out-of-control lesbian feminist movement." Media Matters has the audio file if you think you'll be able to hold your bile.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - these people aren't as far removed from the conservative mainstream as you'd like to think.

Christian conservatives fire another cannon in the war against sex

2006-04-19T11:35:00.000+10:00

"Standing above the crowd,
He had a voice that was strong and loud and I
Swallowed his facade cuz I'm so
Eager to identify with
Someone above the ground,
Someone who seemed to feel the same,
Someone prepared to lead the way, with
Someone who would die for me."

Maybe I've simply consumed one too many beers when I line up the rap-sheets and compare Islamic fundamentalists with their Christian counterparts; maybe all that squiggly text blurs due to my double-vision and I get confused - because I really can't see a significant difference between the two forms of worship.

Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon has a post up today about American fundamentalist fathers who take their daughters to a very special ball. At this ball the father "extracts a promise from her that her vagina is his until... she marries someone he presumably approves of." As Amanda points out, this behavior is not far removed from the typical arrangements at weddings where the father gives away the bride or when the bride adopts the husband's surname. All of these patriarchal relics serve as a reminder that the bride is property to be passed around at the whim of men:

"It used to be enough for patriarchs to demonstrate their symbolic ownership of their daughters by the whole giving away thing at weddings. I suppose that so many women like me are out there not being given, taken, purchased or laid claim to in any way that in order to restore the karmic balance, these poor girls have go through a series “Daddy owns this virginal vulva” rituals before they get passed off to their new owner. The testimonials are sufficiently creepy, too."

More and more as I get older I'm developing the inclination that if the human race is to move ahead in a positive way the patriarchal assumption needs to be smashed to pieces. I can't really tackle feminist topics in any depth because, when it boils down to it, being a white, middle-class male, I'm surfing upon a wave of entitlement and privilege. This means that I don't possess a full insight into what it's like on the flipside of that coin. But it seems to me that there are plenty of advantages for men in a restructuring of the social order. I mean, what kind of man really wants a relationship with the women in their lives based on ownership rather than mutual respect and admiration?

So much war-mongering, posturing and egotistical heroics are based around various nations' attempts to bring their particular brand of oppression to other cultures. If you aren't prepared to allow those of a particular gender or sexual preference within your own country to determine their path, of course that will extend to the way that your state relates to other nations on a global scale. It represents so much outward looking and so little introspection. And yet most of these nations have at their heart a fundamentalism that is indistinguishable from that of their rivals. Perhaps if the patriarchy itself were dismantled it would mean more than just the emancipation of women. Perhaps it would end a whole host of zero-sum behaviors. Imagine what lofty heights we could attain if we focused on lifting people up rather than keeping them down. If we looked inwards on ourselves instead of outwards at other people imagine the places we could go. On that note I'll leave the final word to M.J.K who once wrote of Jesus and his followers: "Ranting and pointing his finger/ At everything but his heart."

Meanwhile: Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, on the ACT's proposal to allow homosexual marriage: "This is not an anti-homosexual gesture. This is a gesture to support the special and traditional place of marriage as a heterosexual union for life of a man and a woman in Australian society. Why we're against what the ACT is doing is that, in all but name, they are equating same-sex unions with marriage. I don't support that, not because I'm against homosexuals, but I think there should always be a margin for marriage as we understand it in our society ... you don't equate a gay union with a traditional marriage – that's our position."

Damnation!

2006-04-18T12:35:00.000+10:00

I slept through my alarm so I missed triple J playing Tool's new single this morning.

Update: I heard it on the afternoon show - it's damn good. The sound and production that can have only come from one band on earth. The sentiments expressed in the lyrics are... very dear to my heart. I can't believe we have to wait three months after the American release to get our hands on it.

Nation States

2006-04-18T11:58:00.000+10:00

I've been playing this little online game. It's called Nation States. I started when I was still at work, and it proved to be an excellent time waster. Your role in the game is that of a nation's leader. What you have to do is respond with a policy prescription to the various issues that your government is presented with daily. You'll normally have an issue and about three possible avenues to take as a response. For example today's issue:

The Issue:
A group several thousands strong hailing from a remote, isolated corner of Icemenistan is staging a massive demonstration on the front steps of your capitol. They demand that their local dialect be recognized as an official language.

The Debate:

1) Roxanne O'Bannon, your Minister of Culture, has nothing but disdain for the demonstrators. "The language of Icemenistan is as important to our national identity as our history is. A truly erudite individual uses perfect grammar and refuses to speak as those ruffians do." Your Finance Minister is quick to chime in as well, "If business is required to print every road sign, instruction manual, and fast-food wrapper in two languages, it would increase everybody's overhead. That means higher prices for the person in the street."
[Accept]

2) "Smarker, but ee's gone blongie 'round the clonger! Trandy in the blang warked a newtie on the Cheebers, quaff me a duggle if it's brine. Sorky, hang our trandy high!" says Hack Hamilton, speaking for the demonstrators, in an apparently rousing response that draws a cascade of cheers. After a few uncomfortable minutes with a professional translator, you find the speaker said, "I respectfully disagree with the Minister. Multilingualism has brought stability to richly-cultured nations such as Brancaland; indeed, I challenge you to provide a single counterexample. I encourage this government to adopt a policy of multilingualism throughout Icemenistan!"
[Accept]

3) Samuel Jong-Il, a radical opposition member who seems to tag along to every demonstration she can find, has her own proposal. "The language barrier is keeping us all apart. What Icemenistan needs is a new identity defined by a new language that we can all agree on. That's unity without favoritism."
[Accept]

So what you have to do as ruler of your nation is pick one of the three listed options. You also have the option to dismiss the issue (the ramifications of which I'm yet to figure out). Every choice that you make as a ruler in response to an issue will shape the course of your nation's fate. This translates to an altered synopsis under your country's description and a variance in your country's three key performance indicators: Civil Rights, Economy and Political Freedoms. Finally, you'll receive a United Nations category for your state. Mine is currently "Left-leaning College State."

Here is the description of my country, Icemenistan, and how it is currently faring:

The Republic of Icemenistan
"Give me liberty or give me death!"

UN Category: Left-Leaning College State
Civil Rights: Superb; Economy: Fair; Political Freedoms: Excellent;

The Republic of Icemenistan is a huge, socially progressive nation, renowned for its punitive income tax rates. Its compassionate, intelligent population of 211 million enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Social Welfare, Education, and Social Equality. The average income tax rate is 71%, and even higher for the wealthy. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising fourteen-year-old boys selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

The nation's youth is held blameless for all crimes, female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast, the people elect the Supreme Court justices directly, and trespassers often find themselves impaled by crossbow bolts. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is moderate, and the police force struggles against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Icemenistan's national animal is the ardvark, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the dollar.

Icemenistan is ranked 60th in the region and 16,863rd in the world for Most Politically Free Nations.

Despite (or maybe because of) its being quite nerdy it's actually quite addictive. It only takes about 2 minutes out of your day and watching your country develop is quite entertaining.

Ann Coulter's heart is the new black

2006-04-17T22:30:00.000+10:00

Ann Coulter, in her latest column (if by column you understand the word column to mean the depraved utterances of the soulless undead) tackles the American immigration issue with all the subtlety of a palsy victim pruning a rosebush with a chainsaw.

The column's title: "Brown is the new black"

Doesn't she just have a heart of gold?

V is for vegetarian

2006-04-16T23:23:00.000+10:00

I've been thinking about taking the plunge into a vegetarian diet for a while now. In the mid 90's (fuck I feel my age when I write that - oh Nevermind, what glory your memory evokes) I went a year and a half without eating meat. But I didn't eat well and ended up pale, which is cool if you're auditioning for the role of a vampire in Buffy but not so cool if you're trying to pick up your female teenage contemporaries. In the end I had to start eating meat again. Now that I'm a slightly more mature soul I think that in the interests of eating a more diverse, nutritious diet I'm going back to the land of Vegetaria.

My first vegetarian dabbling was due in no small measure to the time I spent in my school holidays working at an abattoir (a story requiring a whole other post). Suffice to say that an accidental mouthful of errant arterial blood was enough to keep me away from meat for a year or so.

Rather than getting into the murky ground of discourse on the ethics of eating meat - a discussion undoubtedly likely to be in play throughout perpetuity - I'm taking the line that I'm interested in a nutritious, alternate diet which, all things considered, is a true statement on my part.

So, what I need now are some vegetarian meal suggestions. I know I love vegetarian lasagna, I just don't know how to make it. If you have any favorite recipes feel free to email them to me, or if you aren't comfortable with email then just leave them in the comments. Also feel free not to leave any suggestions; just know that I'll hate you always and begin plans for personal regime change. I just can't help slipping a little political snark into a simple blog post. Okay, I'm waffling.

The Horror

2006-04-16T17:55:00.000+10:00

Here are some photos taken in Iraq. They are pictures that will never be seen in the papers' or on the screens' of western media. If you have the time click the link and have a look.

No further comment is required.

Happy Easter

2006-04-14T10:23:00.000+10:00

May this bad mofo be the bearer of all your chocolate.

Fox News

2006-04-13T02:57:00.000+10:00

I don't have pay-TV at home so I've never had the opportunity to watch Fox News (or, Faux News as it's known amongst rational people); however I've had the opportunity to tune in over the last couple of days because my (ex) boss has the full pay-TV package.

Two things I've learned by watching Fox News:

1) It is actually worse in the watching than was revealed in the secondhand accounts that I've heard about it so far - what a bunch of slobbering, raving, in-denial coke-heads Fox staffs itself with.

2) Apparently nasty Liberals, having failed in their War Against Christmas (TM), are now beginning a war against Easter. Whether or not hot-cross buns should have the holy cross impressed upon them is an issue of national importance for these people. Wedge politics makes people lose sight of the main prize.

3) Ann Coulter has a new book coming out: "Godless Liberals"

4) If you hurl abuse (and empty water bottles) at a TV screen the TV screen will refuse to fight back. You may, however, begin to question your own sanity when you realize that you were telling that TV off for quite some time before you realized it.

(It's 3.28 AM - I'm tired, so this post may contain several errors)

Flying high on sugar; drowning in a sea of chocolate

2006-04-08T11:31:00.000+10:00

I used to have constant dreams of flying. They were amazing - I'd usually be in the school playground (this was years after I'd left school), and I'd practice over and over, getting more and more elevation each time. Eventually, with a feeling of utmost exhilaration, I'd just take off.

Now they were good dreams.

A couple of years later I found myself having recurring dreams of a less pleasant nature. These found me dreaming that I was drowning. I guess you could call them nightmares. I'd be drowning, and I'd know that if I didn't wake myself up (I had the strange knowledge in the dream that I was dreaming) I'd die.

Lately I've been dreaming about lollies. I'll find myself in various situations but the common denominator is that there will be a whole heap of lollies on offer. I might be in a supermarket; I might be at the movies. But wherever it is that I find myself there are always a whole heap of Perspex containers full of different types of candy. There will be yummy chocolate covered aniseed rings. There will be sugarcoated jubes. There will be rum 'n' raisin chocolate bars. The options are usually limitless. The problem is that I spend so much time in my dreams greedily trying to grab as many different lollies as I can that I always, without fail, wake up before I get to eat any of them. I often find myself waking in the middle of the night after such a dream and rushing to the pantry looking for something, anything, sugary. Usually I'll end up grabbing cooking chocolate because I don't normally keep any lollies in stock. This is very strange for me because I'm not a big eater of sweets and I'm ambivalent about chocolate at the best of times.

So, Freud, what the hell is going on?

I'd rather die than live that kind of lie

2006-04-05T13:12:00.000+10:00

I read this rather disturbing post over at Best of the Blogs:

(Emphasis mine)

"The neighbor had a barbeque this past weekend, and after his and his guests kids had gone inside along with the women, the neighbor and two friends, over cigars and multiple whiskeys, went to their cars and brought out their guns and sat on the porch and, caressing their weapons, discussed their faith: How no Liberals were going to get in the way of their faith, how much they'd like to shoot Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and how this is going to be a Christian Nation one way or the other, and how much they were looking forward to next weekend up in West Virginia when the Capital Soldiers for Jesus are meeting for maneuvers. It was a warm night, our windows were open, they were drunk and loud, so I'm not sure I was meant to overhear, but I'm positive the neighbor was sincere when he said, When the shooting starts, I got dibs on that fucking Liberal next door.

I am not an atheist. I acknowledge a hankering for faith, but I'm agnostic as to whether it's psychological, biological, or some combination of both. And I understand the comfort of rituals, the warmth of community, the need to belong, the desire for authority that everyone feels and that some find within the structure of organized religion. I understand that my moral system is based on thousands of years of Judeo-Christian traditions. I am not anti-religious."

I have a word of advice for fundamentalists, be they Christian, Moslem or Jewish: if the shooting were to start and if it were to spill over into nations like mine, then you'd better make damn sure that the first bullet goes right between my eyes. I'm quite happy for anyone, anywhere to practice their particular brand of faith, but I'll not bow, not for a second, before some would-be theocrats that gibber and moan at some imaginary sock-puppet in the sky.

I’d rather die than live that kind of lie.

L.B.W

2006-04-04T10:00:00.000+10:00

That is a light blogging week.

I've got 4 assignments due in as many days so I'll probably just be posting thoughtless silly stuff for the rest of the week. You're probably wondering at this stage what will distinguish that from the norm. So am I, so am I.

But later on today I might unveil a little travel plan I've been working on for next year. It's called 'Assault on the Northern Americas 2007'.

Dang, that's what a hair shirt is...

2006-04-04T09:56:00.000+10:00

You learn something new every day.

Well, with my curly, uncontrollable afro hair I could probably skip shaving the goat and be completely self-reliant.

Tautology watch!

2006-03-31T16:24:00.000+11:00

Fuck! At least I catch my own mistakes.

When would a surprise be unexpected?

Untitled

2006-03-31T13:08:00.000+11:00

I remember sitting in some old, long-forgotten pub in South Melbourne. There were no customers. The barman was drooping. This jazz band turned up to play, its musicians as old and creaky as the pub's wooden floorboards. I remember thinking sarcastically to myself, 'great, some garish trad-jazz will really brighten up my day.' Well, that old jazz band rocked my jocks off like few bands ever have. Man were they good.

I like unexpected surprises.

Talking Turkey in Iraq

2006-03-30T09:28:00.000+11:00

It is amazing the amount of gobbling coming out of the right wing Turkey's mouths, about how the media is only showing the negative aspects of the egregious Iraq war.

Well, Republican candidate, Howard Kallogian, decides to hit back:

"We took this photo of dowtown Baghdad while we were in Iraq. Iraq (including Baghdad) is much more calm and stable than what many people believe it to be. But, each day the news media finds any violence occurring in the country and screams and shouts about it - in part because many journalists are opposed to the U.S. effort to fight terrorism."

But wait! People start to ask questions.

Atrios asks questions.

Josh Marshall's readers ask questions.

Daily Kos asks questions.

Someone took some travel shots in Turkey recently:

Busted!

The supposed Iraq photos were taken in Bakirkoy, Istanbul.

Here is a real picture from Iraq:

There is the flock, but where is the Sheppard?

2006-03-29T21:58:00.000+11:00

I noticed with some amusement on the news tonight that conservative Christians, the so called "values voters", are disgruntled with the Republican leadership. It appears that the fundamentalists feel that the Republicans, having courted their vote, have now abandoned them. Hmmm, I wonder why that would be? Could it be because the Republican Junta don't give a fuck about values, Christian or otherwise.

It was even funnier to note that during the same news piece the fundies were welcoming Tom Delay at one of their little Jesus-loving banquets. Tom Delay, in case you haven't heard of him, is the former Republican house majority leader that is currently being prosecuted for corruption.

I guess the moral of the story here is that if you believe in mystical sock-puppets in the sky, then it's no great surprise that you'd be hoodwinked by the Republicans.

The emperor has lost all his clothes

2006-03-28T10:21:00.000+11:00

Is there anybody left that cares about this shit? Am I just preaching to the choir?

"During a private two-hour meeting in the Oval Office on Jan. 31, 2003, he (Bush) made clear to Prime Minister Tony Blair of Britain that he was determined to invade Iraq without the second resolution, or even if international arms inspectors failed to find unconventional weapons, said a confidential memo about the meeting written by Mr. Blair's top foreign policy adviser and reviewed by The New York Times...."

"Although the United States and Britain aggressively sought a second United Nations resolution against Iraq — which they failed to obtain — the president said repeatedly that he did not believe he needed it for an invasion"....

"The memo also shows that the president and the prime minister acknowledged that no unconventional weapons had been found inside Iraq. Faced with the possibility of not finding any before the planned invasion, Mr. Bush talked about several ways to provoke a confrontation, including a proposal to paint a United States surveillance plane in the colors of the United Nations in hopes of drawing fire, or assassinating Mr. Hussein".... (emphasis BDR)

"At their meeting, Mr. Bush and Mr. Blair candidly expressed their doubts that chemical, biological or nuclear weapons would be found in Iraq in the coming weeks, the memo said. The president spoke as if an invasion was unavoidable. The two leaders discussed a timetable for the war, details of the military campaign and plans for the aftermath of the war"....

"Without much elaboration, the memo also says the president raised three possible ways of provoking a confrontation. Since they were first reported last month, neither the White House nor the British government has discussed them"....

"Mr. Bush agreed that the two countries should attempt to get a second resolution, but he added that time was running out. "The U.S. would put its full weight behind efforts to get another resolution and would twist arms and even threaten," Mr. Bush was paraphrased in the memo as saying. The document added, "But he had to say that if we ultimately failed, military action would follow anyway."

Thanks to Best of the Blogs for the link.

Saturday morning music video clip analysis (the 'why do I do this to myself?' edition)

2006-03-25T09:06:00.000+11:00

Daddy Yankee - 'Gasolina': This "song" sounds like the result of a dj attempting to mix two Atari videogame soundtracks together. Its only saving grace is that the rapper in it looks like a parody of Ali G (who in turn is a parody himself - so you can imagine how ridiculous this guy is). In fact, seeing as the video clip is simply a vehicle used to parade as many bikini clad women across the screen as possible, why didn't they just make it silent?

Kate Alexa - 'All I Hear': "All I hear is la, la, lala, la." Ah, the lyrical complexity of Australian pop. I'm not sure what is going on in the clip - our pop star is wandering through the streets of Melbourne, gibbering something about... love lost...? Teen angst...? Partying down...? I found I had to listen to Kid-A three times on repeat aftering listening to this, just to keep from slitting my wrists. And I know that if I'm listening to Radiohead in order to avoid slitting my wrists then I'm in a dark place.

James Blunt - 'Goodbye My Lover': Let me be blunt (a pun as terrible as the song) this is a true 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' moment. Kermit the frog had a far better voice.

Further songs on my hit list: Ashlee Simpson - 'L.O.V.E', Bob Sinclair's 'Love Generation' (I particularly hate this one. It makes me feel like I should be doing a conga line on a cruise ship), and whatever that new Westlife song is called.

I really need to get voice posting up and running so I can start doing my impressions of some of these songs.

Melbourne can be a bright city

2006-03-24T16:55:00.000+11:00

Friday dog blogging

2006-03-24T16:47:00.000+11:00

Sandy will keep those damn fundamentalists at bay.

ROOOAAAAAAARRRR!!!

She might just take a little nap first.

Mississippi (do I have the right amount of s's and i's?)

2006-03-24T14:26:00.000+11:00

Sex toys are now banned in Mississippi.

And the Rude Pundit is right: they don't want you to experience the joys of consequence-free sex; such elevated freedom may lead you to freedom in other areas, say, freedom of the mind.

Get out and have some casual sex while you still can because Christian fundamentalists are coming to a church near you.

An apology

2006-03-22T12:44:00.000+11:00

Reader Iain, in this comment: "Perhaps yoiu should consider ther terms of derision you use in a post such as this. To refer to these men as "cunts" seems somewhat in conflict with the position that you take here . If you seek to attack sexual violence by men why do you use language that seems so mysognistic?" has quite correctly pointed out an error in my post about the fuckheaded rapists from Adelaide. It's wholly inappropriate to attribute a negative connotation to a part of the female anatomy, especially in the context that it was thoughtlessly assigned in my last post.

Here is the offending sentence: "It is time that men started calling out their fuckhead mates for the despicable c*&%s that they are."

I think I'll amend the post with the new construction "despicable cockheads". I apologize for any offense that it caused, and can only offer the excuse that the word, in the context is arose, came from my outraged thoughtlessness rather than any form of misogyny.

"REVENGE OF THE QUEERS March 15, 2006"

2006-03-21T21:14:00.000+11:00

Ann Coulter emerges from the swamp with fire in her eyes this week. She's after liberals for not endorsing a conservative black judge, who it just so happens went on to a life of theft and fraud. I wonder if, perhaps, an endorsement was not forthcoming because there were questions about Claude Allen's character, not, as Ann would have it, over his race. See, Ann hasn't progressed to that point where only questions about a person's character and abilities are asked when assessing their worth - she still expects people to judge others on the color of their skin.

All Ann's bluster and blather about racist liberals is really just comedic foreplay however, for her defense of Mr Allen's crime summons forth the real orgiastic feast of laughter:

"This week at The New York Times, it was revenge of the queers. I'm sorry it took a tough period in Allen's life for The New York Times to feature him under a banner headline on its front page, but all in all, I'm glad to finally know about Claude Allen. I'm proud to have this great fellow sinner in our party."

Damn the woman can spin like a top.

Other notable Republicans that Ann will be delighted to have join her party of sin:

Tom Delay
Jack Abramoff
John Doolittle
Randy "Duke" Cunningham

Caveat: this is not to say that liberal governments aren't subject to corruption, but the list sited above is just the tip of the iceberg. I think it's fair to say that there is something terribly wrong with the state of conservative politics today.

Next on the corruption menu will be a home-grown scandal - the dark tale of the Australian Wheat Board.

Fuckheads and their fuckheaded friends

2006-03-21T18:54:00.000+11:00

Some days... No, no, no - most days I feel ashamed of my gender:

"These delightful characters apparently met Mrs Brimble at the ship's disco on the first night of the cruise. Between then and when she was found dead in their cabin, Wilhelm had sex with her and had photos of this taken by his mates, which they proudly showed to other passengers, and another, Silvestri had received oral sex from her (although what is more likely is he stuck his cock in an unconscious woman's mouth ...what a buzz for him!). Then, after she'd died, our heroes planned to toss her body overboard, but found there was too much traffic on the ship."

It is time that men started calling out their fuckhead mates for the despicable cockheads that they are. I'll bet that at least one of the guys on that trip realized the monstrosity of what their friends were engaging in. But nobody called it. It puts a different slant on all those comments you hear from guys, such as "she's stuck up, mate, she wouldn't talk to me." I mean, do the math - every woman is going to make a calculation when she encounters a stranger out on the town: risk versus reward. What a shit calculation to have to make.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

2006-03-17T09:19:00.000+11:00

"Instead of sitting around, incessantly sniping at President Bush and the US Military, sipping "liberal coward broth", hating America and Conservatives, the wacko liberal poison Left-Wing Nuts — and the rest of The Enemy Within™ — should be rounded-up and put into "re-education camps" and forced to watch 24 hour, non-stop TV news footage of 9-11, Sodomy Insane's rape/torture/murder rooms and the unearthing of Iraqi mass graves. Those hard-core Lefty wacko filth who can't be converted, should be summarily tried and locked away for life; no chance of parole. They're a waste of oxygen and a "clear and present danger" to America, as is the murderous, degenerate cult of Islam. Free and unfettered speech is guaranteed under the First Amendment, but actively working and trying to destroy this Nation, in a time of war, when our very lives are in peril, is a treasonous and seditious offense, and should be treated as such, and punished by death. The much-maligned Patriot Act provides for that very situation, and should be implemented post haste. All verminous, hate-America, liberal-socialist-commie filth should be contained and selectively eliminated."

I just read this article,courtesy of J.A Bartlett, on America's slow creep from soft fascism towards fascism proper. It details how it's being achieved, including how moderate conservatives are being dragged towards the extreme.

Divide and conquer... Wedge politics... Fucking scary...

My first piece of university work

2006-03-16T10:34:00.000+11:00

This really won't mean much to you if you haven't studied determinism, and it is only a 250 word work requirement, but I thought I'd post it to mark the occasion.

Tutor: xxxx
Student: xxxx

Freedom, Mind and Value 2006

Short Assignment

1. Explain in your own words, and using your own examples, the idea of causally necessary conditions and causally sufficient conditions.

When anything happens in this world; for example a car crash, a leaf falling from a tree or a flood - we attribute a range of causes to that event. We could say that a driver's speed caused the crash, or excessive rain caused the flood. In the language of philosophy we call that causation. But, as we shall see, it is only in a very rare instance that we can attribute a single cause to an occurrence. It is based on this that we define causes into two categories: Causally necessary and causally sufficient.

Let's take the example of a flood. Most people would cite excessive rain as the reason for a flood. But, really, excessive rain would not be the sole reason for flooding. A flood would obviously be caused by a combination of individual necessary circumstances, such as breached levies, depressed terrain or soil erosion. If you extracted those factors the event wouldn't have happened. We would, therefore, categorize individual conditions such as excessive rain as causally necessary, because the flood wouldn't have happened without them.

As stated, it would be impossible to suggest that any one condition, such as excessive rain, was sufficient for a flood. Excessive rain may be necessary for a flood to occur, however it may not be sufficient. This is because several factors (breached levies, soil erosion) must have contributed to it. When taking into account all the necessary symptoms that must have been present for a flood we term them as causally sufficient.

In summary we have two categories which define causation - causally necessary forces, which have to be present in order for something to occur; and causally sufficient forces, those necessary but separate forces which combine to make something occur.

Dearest American Democrats

2006-03-15T14:20:00.000+11:00

Dearest American Democrats,

When Russ Feingold has finished his task of dragging you into the modern era, erasing your strange fear of conservative wankery, and annunciating a clear, alternative message:

"I’m amazed at Democrats, cowering with this president’s numbers so low. The administration just has to raise the specter of the war and the Democrats run and hide. … Too many Democrats are going to do the same thing they did in 2000 and 2004. In the face of this, they’ll say we’d better just focus on domestic issues. … [Democrats shouldn’t] cower to the argument, that whatever you do, if you question the administration, you’re helping the terrorists."

Can we please borrow him over in Australia?

Thanks in advance,

Don Quixote

Black-balling Kim

2006-03-14T13:20:00.000+11:00

I'm rubbing my black bowling ball and asking it if this man should be leader of the labor party:

My black bowling ball is telling me: "Outlook not good"

And we'll all float on okay...

2006-03-14T12:33:00.000+11:00

Time that I left for uni this morning: 7:30 AM

Time that I arrived at uni this morning: 11:00 AM

Someone committed suicide on the tracks along the line that I take towards the city, so I ended up having to take a bus past the unfortunate incident. Then, after arriving in the city, I jumped on a tram only to have the tram slam into a car. Obviously that was the end of tram riding for the day, leaving me to grab a taxi. The upshot of the whole thing was that I met some nice girls from my philosophy course, our budding acquaintance being much strengthened by our shared plight. What could have been an expensive cab ride was greatly alleviated by our sharing of the fare four ways.

Notwithstanding the making of new friends the reality of my massive daily commute was really starting to get to me. Now there is some hope in sight. If you'll remember a few months ago I stayed over at my bosses villa, you know, the one with the nice sports cars? Well, my boss is heading overseas again for a few months and I've been asked to stand sentry over the king's castle.

Some lyrics on good fortune are what is called for:

"I backed my car into a cop car the other day.
Well he just drove off, sometimes life's OK.
I ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh what did I say?
Well you just laughed it off, it was all OK.

And we'll all float on OK. And we'll all float on OK.
And we'll all float on OK. And we'll all float on anyway.

Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam.
It was worth it just to learn some sleight of hand.
Bad news comes, don't you worry even when it lands.
Good news will work its way to all them plans.
We both got fired on exactly the same day.
Well we'll float on, good news is on the way.

And we'll all float on OK. And we'll all float on OK.
And we'll all float on OK. And we'll all float on.
Alright already, we'll all float on.
No don't you worry. We'll all float on.
Alright, already. We'll all float on.
Alright, don't worry. We'll all float on.

And we'll all float on.
Alright already, we'll all float on.
Alright, don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy.
We'll all float on.

Alright already, we'll all float on.
Alright already, we'll all float on OK.
Don't worry, we'll all float on.
Even if things get heavy, we'll all float on.
Alright already, we'll all float on alright.
Don't you worry, we'll all float on.
We'll all float on."

(Modest Mouse - Float On)

2006-03-13T08:34:00.000+11:00

The perils of posting when drunk. If the 'shoes were reversed'? Er, I think you might have meant 'roles', loser.

2006-03-12T22:07:00.000+11:00

Why would anyone consider me their friend. I wouldn't, if the shoes were reversed.

Happy birthday blog

2006-03-10T20:44:00.000+11:00

I just realized that it is exactly a year to the day since I started keeping this blog - happy birthday blog!

The words are so familiar -
all the same greats, the same mistakes
It doesn't have to be like this.

If you don't make a friend, now
One might make you -
So learn
The gentle art of making enemies

Don't look so surprised
Happy birthday...Fucker
Blow that candle out,
We're gonna kick you

(Don't say you're not because you are)
(Don't say you're not because you are)
(History tells us that you are)
(History tells us that you are)

All you need is just one more excuse
You put up one hell of a fight
I wanna hear your very best excuse
Never felt this much alive

Your day has finally come -
So wear the hat and do the dance
And let the suit keep wearing you.

This year you'll sit and take it
And you will like it -
It's the gentle art of making enemies

I deserve a reward
Cuz I'm the best fuck that you ever had
And if I tighten up my hole -
You may never see the light again

(There's always an easy way out)
(There's always an easy way out)
(You need something wet in your mouth)
(You need something wet in your mouth)

Never felt this much alive

(Faith No More - The Gentle Art Of Making Enemies)

Oscar the grouch

2006-03-10T18:12:00.000+11:00

Somebody grab me an umbrella, because Ann Coulter just spewed forth another dose of racist, bigoted, hate-filled bile. In her latest quasi column she unloads on the winners of the Oscars and those damn homosexuals that are conspiring to steal Hollywood:

'This may have been the most American Oscars yet, if America consisted of beautiful airheads in $50,000 dresses. And that was just the guys in "Brokeback Mountain."'

I've come to realize that Ann sees the world in strictly partisan terms. She views the Oscars, not as a light and fluffy look at the dubious artistic merits of Hollywood's yearly output, but rather which side of politics the event leans towards:

"Although I must tell you, overall, this Academy Awards ceremony was a major strategic retreat by Hollywood. Despite all their Bolshevik bluster about how Democratic politicians won't stand up to Republicans, the Hollywood left is as scared of decent patriotic Americans as the Democrats are.

"Brokeback Mountain" did not win best picture, "Munich" won nothing, and the Palestinian suicide bombers movie won nothing. There was no angry self-righteousness from Vanessa Redgrave against "Zionist hooligans," or from Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon for the Haitian boat people. There was no Bush-bashing. There was no Michael Moore. The host was not Whoopi Goldberg, so that's a big fat reward to every man, woman and child in America right there."

"Bolshevik bluster"!?! "The Hollywood left"!?! Sure, there are some left wingers in Hollywood - Matt Damon, George Clooney et-al. - but how many people in the audience do you remember applauding Mike Moore last year when he got up to make his acceptance speech; you know, the one that was highly critical of team Bush? I'd say the audience response on that night was evenly divided between cheers and jeers.

As you can see, Coulter sees Brokeback's failure to win best picture as some sort of victory, even though the result smashes down her earlier predictions that it would win simply on account of its subject matter.

I'll leave it up to you to decide why Ann doesn't like Whoopi Goldberg.

But wait! Ann's attack on her favorite minority group hasn't finished yet. No, no - how could she lay down her keyboard without first smacking down gays:

"Even on AIDS — which is something you'd expect people like Clooney to know something about — Hollywood was about seven years behind. Wait, no — bad choice of words. Even on AIDS, Hollywood got caught with its pants down. Still no good. On AIDS, Hollywood got it right in the end. Oh, dear ... Note to self: Must hire two more interns to screen hate mail."

What's a couple of gay jokes between conservative friends, eh?

It is at this point in proceedings that it starts to get a little chilling. Mostly her rage filled outbursts are simply the ravings of a paranoid, ignorant wretch; the mutterings of the local bag lady, standing on the corner trying to swat imaginary flies. But note this little phrase in her retort to George Clooney's speech:

(Emphasis mine)

"Forget about Hollywood being ahead of the big issues: Hollywood has never even been on time for the big issues. This is why, for example, in the middle of an epic war with Islamic fascists, Hollywood is still making movies about the Nazis. Now and then, just for variety, they tackle a more current topic, like the Jim Crow era."

This for me illustrates the current conservative mindset towards war in general and the War Against Terror(TM) specifically - they think that war is "epic". I think that for someone who clearly doesn't get out and watch many movies, Ann has been watching a little too much Lord of the rings. Anyone that has had an IED tear through the side of their vehicle, ripping through muscle, sinew and bone without remorse, would probably disagree that war is epic. I'd say that anyone who has had a misdirected smart bomb - an oxymoron if ever I've heard one - drop on their house, turning women, men, and children into meatloaf, would probably consider Ann Coulter and her epic wars a lunatic.

But if Ann's dark fantasy of epic battles chills me, her take on race relations really get the Goosebumps a-bumping:

(Emphasis mine)

"Only recently has George Clooney heard about segregation. (He's against it.) But he still can't nail down the details of something that ended nearly half a century ago."

Why would Ann need to highlight what should be an obvious position on segregation? What is Ann's position on this matter? Does she think there is room for contrary opinions on the topic? And remember while you ponder the answers to those questions that Ann isn't out of the mainstream - the Republican Party still has her speak at their conservative rallies, she is still given airtime on conservative talk-shows, and she still has a large readership for her column.